People who show up at my place with cupcakes in hand instantly become the love of my life. Way 2 go.
— I Will Always Care Too Much (via elriced)
This is a picture of the ocean. This scene represents how fucked up life is, you know? Like no matter what you do, crab traps are going to catch you and you’re going to get cooked and eaten and you have to listen to your crab family’s screams as you all die. The clam isn’t so happy despite people saying “happy as a clam” all the time. Clams are pretty much rocks that can live. They can’t even swim why the fuck would they be happy? Life is bullshit, man.
The mermaid is happy and why wouldn’t she be? She’s queen of the fucking ocean. Whatever. Her tail also has a face because FISH ARE FUCKING PEOPLE TOO. So is the fish. He doesn’t look so happy, but who knows what fish are thinking. I do, it’s thinking that life is meaningless and nothing matters and he’s fucking right. Plus he looks kinda like a rocket launcher because the WAR IN IRAQ IS FUCKED UP, MAN.
The sun is under the sea because he’s trying to fucking kill himself by putting himself out but it didn’t work because he’s too strong. It’s cool, though, he didn’t wanna die anyway it was just a cry for help. Now he’s friends with the sand and the ocean and they smoke seaweed all the time.
Sometimes things I’ve already liked pop up on my dashboard and I think, “Why on earth did I ever like that? That’s the opposite of things that I like.” This is not one of those things. This is a masterpiece. Fridgeworthy.
Cleaning my room for what I’m assuming is the first time in years and I just found some weird party favour that is basically just all about making your own balloons. I don’t know who gave this to me, but thank you, for you are a great person who clearly knows my interests. If any of you need me I know what I’ll be doing for the next forever.
His shirt was off, per usual. His chest glistened with sweat, evidence of a good 20-minutes-worth of being truly hardcore. He reeked of punk rock and repressed anger. He stared at me with the intensity of 1000 grindcore LPs being played — at the same time. He spoke.
“I just went hard in the pit. Now I’m going to go hard in you.”
Fifty Shades of Black Band Shirts?
Deer Tick - In Bloom (Nirvana cover)
Also, we got DEERVANA for a couple minutes. No big deal, right? JUST KIDDING, STILL STOKED. It was awesome and perfect and flaw-free and exactly what I’ve always wanted it to be.
Wheatus -Teenage Dirtbag
Everyone downloaded this song on Limewire, right?
PERSONAL ANTHEM. Every time I get really sick of hearing someone sing “The First Noel” after being introduced to me, I think about how many times my buds have started “Teenage Dirtbag” sing-alongs in public places and everything seems worth it. Want me to dig your band? Cover this. Want me to dig you? Dedicate it to me.
in my ballroom
there’s a dance
and a disco ball
in my ballroom
it’s my room
there’s a disco ball
come fuck me
we can play a board game afterwords
if you like playing board games
i don’t really
but i can if you like them
we can fuck after we play the board game
i like doing that
if you like doing that
Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane in the new trailer for the R-rated comedy. “Thunder buddies for life!”
Can’t decide if it’s my rampant narcissism or my leftover Fear-related adolescent boner that compelled me to watch this multiple times just to hear Marky Mark drop my name.